YARGH!

I just received the most infuriating email from the head office of the company I work for, Cineplex. Apparently they decided to make new uniforms for us, because, goodness knows, every two years you must blow thousands of dollars on redesigning and reissuing new uniforms. Don't put that money towards raises for the hardworking, underpaid employees, or as they call us "cast members", which by the way is the gayest thing in the world. Then they issued a whole list of new crap that we have to follow, on top of the other bullshit that they think makes us a reputable company. The only reason they have so many customers and make so much money is because they're practically the only movie theatre chain in Canada. I only cut and pasted about half of the new rules, just because reading the entire thing gave me a huge headache.

Female Cast:

-Conservative hair styles with natural looking colours are preferred / required.
Extreme cuts or colours not encouraged

-Bangs should be short or combed back and held out of the eyes
-Long hair must be tied back, not tucked underneath caps or a hairnet maybe be
required
-Additional decorative ribbons, ornaments, barrettes, etc., not permitted
-Only lightly applied and natural shades of make-up, mascara, eye shadow, eye
liner, lipstick and blush permitted
-Fingernails kept well manicured
-Nail polish is not permitted for those cast members working food service
positions
-Other positions may wear clear or natural toned nail polish

All Cast:
-Rings - only wedding sets or one normal small ring per hand

-Watches; the only permitted wrist jewellery is a watch, except Medic Alert
bracelets and tags
-Necklaces; no visible necklaces allowed, except Medic Alert
-Earrings; studs or small hoops in the lobe portion of the ear and only one
earring in each ear is encouraged / preferred.
-Body Piercing / Tattoos; visible body piercing are not permitted while on duty.
Visible tattoos, perceived offensive, must be appropriately covered.
-Scents; strong perfumes or cologne are to be avoided

What the hell is an "extreme haircut"? A mullet? Because nobody wears those anymore, so they really shouldn't worry about it. They should just fire all of us and hire robots... if they existed. And when they do exist, one day, they probably will fire us because they are money-hungry douche-bags that cut every possible corner just so they can make a few extra bucks. Tomorrow, I'm getting a tattoo, dying my hair bright pink, wearing all the jewelry I own, dousing myself in a vat of perfume, and rubbing my hands in dirt before I go to work.

The icing on the cake is that I have to wear a baseball hat with the Cineplex logo on it, you know, in case the customers (which head office calls "guests". Also gay) get confused by the uniformed polo shirt that I, and every other employee, is wearing and don't quite grasp the fact that I work there. Baseball hats have visors. Visors block off light. The Varsity (the name of the theatre I work at) has very low, defused lighting, some customers even complain about how dark it is in there. So it only makes perfect sense that the employees wear something to block off what little light there is. Also, the booth is a pretty dark place, and the super cool visor gets in the way of threading the projectors because it's a wide and protruding piece of cloth-covered cardboard coming out from my forehead.

I was planning on making my image for my photo production class blog before I went out tonight. Then I read that email and was crippled with rage. And now there's no time. Cineplex has fucked me over once again. Curse you Cineplex, curse you.