It took me three days...

Here we have my dad's blankty-second birthday gift. I feel that blankty-two is a good year to receive an amigurumi rooster. My dad and his wife are going through a "don't give us any gifts for Christmas and birthdays" phase, but I know them. They are the type of people that will tell you not to do something, even though deep down they want you to do it. Anyways, the rooster was actually created because I saw his cute little self on Ana Paula's blog and said to myself "I can make that... but BETTER". That's why if you go to her blog and you see the original one... it looks nothing like mine... because I'm awesome. Also, my dad was born in the year of the rooster. Now you can figure out what age blankty-two is. If you're smart. And I know you are.

I like to give the rooster kisses, and I am sad to give him up. The good news is that his name will be Fenton. Fenton the Rooster.

Tea time

Here are some photos that I took at Rachel's house last week when I visited her on her birthday. I wanted to put up photos that I took today while out with Graeme (we stumbled across a bizarre bowling alley on our way to get ice cream...), but I shot them in RAW and blogger.com doesn't let you put up RAW images. So I tried to convert them into JPEGS through Photoshop but it says that the licensing for it has expired. So here is tea.

Drivers are jerks

Let me tell you a story. The date is May 28th, 2008. Claudia, leaving work a little later than usual (because the damn door to the locker rooms locked everyone out), is biking home on her usual route, being far more cautious than the stupid automobiles that don't give a crap about anyone but themselves. She comes to an intersection on a quiet, residential street with one of those four-way crossing lights. Claudia has biked on this street many-a-time, so she is well aware that she must break and wait her turn before crossing. There is only one car on the road, and it is directly in front of her. So, she waits for him to turn (he goes right), and she continues going straight. But wait... while Claudia is in the middle of the intersection, crazy Mr. Automobile Man decides that he no longer wishes to turn right, he wants to go left. And what crazy Mr. Automobile Man wants, by George, crazy Mr. Automobile Man does! And poor, unsuspecting Claudia gets hit by Drunken Douchebag Automobile Man (I suddenly felt the urge to change his name). Now, you think this would make D.D.A.M. feel like a total asshole, hence urging him to get out of his car, arms flailing in the air, and him crying "OH MY GOD, I'M A COMPLETE FUCK, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!?" Nope. Through his windshield, he looks Claudia straight in the eye (at this moment they are stark-raving mad eyes), and speeds the fuck off, leaving Claudia in the middle of the road with nothing to do but swear like a drunken sailor. I bet I know what you are thinking. "Where is the justice??", and "No human being should get away with such a travesty!" Well the silver lining in this crap situation is that there was an undercover Mountie (yes, Mountie, or rather, R.C.M.P.) two blocks up the very same road that D.D.A.M. was booking it on. The good fellow hunts him down, and busts his ass for all sorts of illegal car stuff (mainly hit and run) and Claudia gets to yell at D.D.A.M. for being an ultimate turd. He promises to pay her for a new bike (R.I.P. red Tour de France Supercycle), never does, and now she has to go to court on Thursday afternoon. The End.

Little fried egg for Rachel

I have made my friend Rachel a birthday gift. She will be turning 20 tomorrow, and what better way to say "Happy 20th Birthday" than by giving her a crocheted fried egg? I got the pattern for free at this woman's Etsy site. Her name is Ana Paula... something or other, and she makes retardedly cute amigurumi.

Tragedy

A terrible tragedy has occurred, Zhenson was attacked. The culprit? This very, very bad dog that you see in the photo below, which, I might add, is most certainly not edited or changed, in any way, to emphasize the purpose of this dramatic post. That is how I took the picture. See those eyes? Evil. Pure evil.

Devil Dog

Brave little Zhenson, resting after his injury.

I am about to crochet a patch for him, I was thinking of sewing a tentacle over the hole, but it's took big, so patch it will be. He is not worried, it's going to make him look like a total bad-ass. The chicks will be all over him.

I made this.

I know what you're thinking. Yes. I made this. Fantastic isn't it? I've decided to name him Zhenson. Tentacles soon to come.

Pink amigurumi ball... thing. With eyes.

fa;slkd;ghawefsdhjk

Bad... BAD drawing of Cedar (she DID come across my blog and insisted I put up the drawing of her). I warned you Cedar. But did you listen? No... no you did not. I miss you though, and I promise that to make up for this atrocity I will draw a far superior picture of you. You shall look glorious... GLORIOUS!

Cedar Eve Peters

Shame on me

I have failed me. I have not been producing the amount of art that I promised myself I would. I did a drawing of my friend Cedar on New Years day, but it's so terrible I refuse show it to anybody. Plus if Cedar ever happens to visit my blog and saw it, she would be appalled. I like Cedar. I don't want her to be appalled. Anyways, here is a drawing I did of my friend Sam, who is one rad dude. I kind of fucked it up, I was attempting to copy a photo of him as closely as possible, but I didn't tip his head to the side, which perhaps makes the attempted neck wrinkles seem confusing... also his hair doesn't quite look like that. And he normally does not resemble Ronald McDonald. That is my bad.

Sam Rosenberg (I don't know why this is underlined).